[Hooman Ghayouri]

What men really want from a relationship

It's time to stop second-guessing, men are complicated beasts and trying to work out what they really want is a tricky business. Here's what men really look for in a relationship - prepare to be surprised.

Romance

If chickflicks were anything to go by, you'd think romance was invented exclusively for women, by women. But romance isn't all about flowers and chivalry - it's a way of letting your partner know that they are special to you. For a guy, this might mean booking tickets to see his favourite band as a surprise, or sending him a card with a sweet personal message when he least expects it.

If you're in a particularly giving mood, the ultimate romantic gesture is to embrace something you normally rally against.  So if he's into football, and you want to do something he'd least expect, arrange to show the big match at your place, invite his friends round and get the snacks and beers in. If you don't like football this will mean the world to him and who knows, you might even enjoy it!

Someone to be vulnerable with

Newsflash: men are complicated. They might be really tight with their regular Thursday night drinking mates but there are often unwritten rules associated with these kind of blokey friendships that prohibit men from talking about anything too soppy or showing any vulnerability.

Men often find it harder than women to admit to, and talk about, their problems and it takes a trusted, non-judgemental partner to coax it out of them.  But the trust is the vital thing – whether he admits it or not, a man seeks a partner who he feels safe with to share his deepest secrets.

A challenge

This is not about playing hard to get or messing a guy around, but a man does like to be kept on his toes a little. As women, it's always tempting to adopt the 'nod and smile' tactic when we first meet a guy and want to be liked, but leaving him entirely unchallenged is bad news for both parties.

Let's face it, a good looking guy at a party will not have any trouble attracting the ladies, but the ones that will stick in his mind are those that aren't just putty in his hands. A secure woman who knows her mind is seductive, and longer term, it's a recipe for mutual respect and keeps things constantly interesting.

Someone who can read him

ESP is what we really need, but failing that, a woman who can learn to read and interpret the nuances of her man's behaviour is on to a winner. Why does this require particular talent? Because men are just as good as women at saying one thing and meaning another, or worse, bottling stuff up.

This could mean anything from knowing when to not talk over the TV to understanding that he goes OTT in the company of your male best friend because he feels insecure around him. This kind of instinct for what lies beneath takes time to develop, but it can save a world of trouble in the long term.

Friendship

Sure, this might appear low down the list of what a man thinks he wants – beneath, good looks, nice eyes and a pert bum – but after the first few dates a man will start to look beyond these signs of initial attraction. And of course, some of the best relationships start with friendship.

The reason is simple – a good relationship relies on shared interests, the enjoyment of conversation and the ability to make each other laugh. This is especially true when a guy has one rule for friends and another for potential love interests

جعبه متن

Yahoo